


Soumatou

by ibrokemymug



Category: Kagerou Project, Mekakucity Actors
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Flashbacks, Forgive Me, Gen, Suicide, dammit Saeru you bitch, light mentions of the Yuukei Quartet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2020-08-12
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:02:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25821076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ibrokemymug/pseuds/ibrokemymug
Summary: Soumatou - The phenomenon of one's life flashing before their eyes before death.As her life flashed before her eyes, she once again remembered her family.
Kudos: 16





	Soumatou

**Author's Note:**

> I was originally gonna wait until August 15th to post this, cuz, ya know... but on second thoughts, nahhh. 
> 
> Maybe I'll post something else instead?? idk xD (...Kano angst?? jk, jk... unless...) but for now, I gotta go work on something someone (you know who you are smh) requested
> 
> Enjoy :')

Flashing images scattered all around her, separating in what seemed like an endless sky. The fast winds seemed to blow them away, carrying them away from the life that had created them in the first place. As the future faded out, as the credits approached, as the snake grinned, and the haze opened its mouth wide and Shuuya screamed, yelled, cried out for her to return...

she remembered her family again.

...

_Standing tensed and nervous before her were three children, all sharing the same blazing crimson in their eyes. Their gazes avoided hers, and the two boys on the sides flinched as hands were placed on their head._

_"Ayano, you're their big sister now," her mother smiled a warm, reassuring smile, down at her. "So make sure to take care of everyone!"_

_The hand that was rested on the dark-haired boy's head was now on top of her's, and the trusting look in her mother's brown eyes told her that everything was going to be alright, that she could do this._

_She nodded and smiled at the shy children, pulling them all along with her to her room._

_She knows she can do it. She can be a good big sister for them._

_..._

_Her father grinned as he ruffled her hair._

_"I know you'll get them up to open up eventually," he gave a thumbs up, lifting the doubts off her shoulders. "Besides, you already know one of them, right?"_

_"I guess...." despite the encouragement, she still lacked that spark she needed, that strike of inspiration that would tell her what she needed to do._

_"Hey," her father smiled, looking at her, then to the entrance of the room where the others sat, huddled together. "I know you can do it, Ayano. After all, such an easy task will be no match for someone as strong as you, right?"_

_The bright fire in his eyes was handed down to her, giving her the just the spark she needed._

_"Right!" she nodded, regaining confidence, before hurrying back to try her luck again._

_When she faced the vibrant colors of Tsubomi, Kousuke, and Shuuya's eyes again, she knew what she had to do._

_Smiling brightly for them, she donned a hero's scarf._

_..._

_"Tsubomi?" she called out tentatively, thoroughly checking the corners of the rooms she passed._

_"Onee-Chan!" two hands suddenly clutched her arm, and she did her best not to startle as the girl manifested before her. "I'm here, I'm here!"_

_"Ah, there you are!" she smiled, ignoring the fear that was finally ebbing away in her heart. "I was worried we'd lost you! Shuuya and Kousuke searched everywhere when you ran away!"_

_Tsubomi's eyes watered as she gripped her arm tightly. "Onee-Chan, I'm sorry! I'm sorry I hurt Shuuya, I'm sorry I ran away! But please, I don't want to disappear anymore! D-Don't let me disappear...."_

_Her heart twisted painfully in her chest as tears rolled down the girl's cheeks, cursing the power contained in her bright, red eyes. Putting on a brave face for her, she reached out a hand._

_"Hey, hey, you won't disappear!" she reassured. "Here, you can hold my hand so I don't lose you on the way back, okay?"_

_The girl sniffled and wiped away the tears from her eyes, shakily taking her hand in hers. "Okay...."_

_"That's more like it! Now let's go, the others are worried!"_

_As she hurried back down the hall, she saw Tsubomi, who was trailing close behind her, smile._

_..._

_"Onee-Chan... is something wrong?" she didn't expect anyone to still be awake, yet a voice called out behind her from the darkened hallway._

_"Huh? Is that you, Kousuke?" she peered out into the darkness to see a pair of big, red eyes staring at her._

_"I thought I heard...." the boy started, then stopped, uttering a tiny, tiny apology from within the shadows._

_"I-It's okay!" she quickly said, waving her hands out in front of her. "Anyways, eh, what are you doing up so late?"_

_"I couldn't sleep...." he said, moving forward to stand in front of her._

_"Was it another nightmare?"_

_"I saw someone else's nightmare," the boy shuddered in place as he spoke. "It was probably either Shuuya's or Tsubomi's, and I couldn't sleep afterward. T-Then I accidentally heard your thoughts, so I came out here."_

_"Hey, it's okay!" she chirped, clasping a hand on his shoulder. "I was going to the kitchen to get some milk, but since you're here, we can go together! Maybe it'll help you sleep!"_

_Kousuke hesitated, then nodded. "If you say so...."_

_Even as she took the lead in front of him, carefully guiding him past squeaky floorboards and obstacles obscured in the dark, she couldn't help but wonder if he'd already heard of all the horrible things coming, waiting to eat away at her future._

_She wondered if he'd already heard of all the tragedy that was coming to tear them all away from their happiness._

_..._

_She wanted to stop the flow of tears in her eyes. She didn't want to cry here and now, when she still needed to stay strong for the boy breaking down in front of her._

_"Nee-Chan, please," he choked out, struggling to keep his feet steady. "T-There has to be another way... r-right...?"_

_"Shuuya...." she wanted to walk over, reach out, pull him into a tight hug like old times and tell him everything would be alright, and he didn't need to be sad, but she knew with the grinning face beside him that it was probably too late for that._

_Instead, she could only stare at the cold fear, betrayal, and disbelief flooding through Shuuya's amber eyes._

_"Shuuya," her hands gripped on the rails as the blond tried to come closer. "If the other snakes can't be brought to this world, you'll all be safe. You have to understand that the only way to do that is to...."_

_She felt sick. The height had looked like nothing before, back when she'd sat up here eating lunch next to her classmates, but now, just the thought of its presence behind her made her stomach churn._

_"Nee-Chan," he repeated the word, clung to it like a broken record, stumbling towards her. "Nee-Chan, please."_

_She already knew with the appearance of the dark void behind her that her fate was sealed. She knew it, the snake knew it, and Shuuya tried his hardest to force himself to believe that he didn't know it._

_She just had to let herself be taken to the Kagerou Daze, then they would be safe, right? I-It wouldn't be that hard, she was strong enough for them..._

_...right?_

_"What about Tsubomi and Kousuke?! You said we'd all be happy forever, right? What about Takane a-and Haruka and Shintaro?"_

_The height made her nauseous, and her betraying hands gripped the rails only tighter. Her arms shook._

_"I'm sorry Shuuya," her voice left her on its own, sounding out the one thing she didn't want to admit. The one thing she shouldn't have admitted. "I know I'm supposed to be your big sister... your leader... but...."_

_She swallowed harshly as the tears built up only faster, blurring the boy's absolutely terrified and lost face._

_"I guess I'm actually... a bit...."_

_Her fingers dug into the metal she held onto as the Haze lashed out to grab her._

_Her voice cracked._

_"...scared."_

_Shakily, she mustered one last smile, one that probably lacked the bravery of the leader she'd once been. Of the sister she'd once been. Shuuya suddenly broke into a run, all fear and confusion and desperation burned painfully on his face, and it was in that moment that she finally, truly questioned:_

_Had she been a good big sister?_

_..._

...Ah.

It felt like it had happened years and years ago, yet here she was.

She was falling, down and down, gazing, just briefly, into the windows of classrooms she had passed oh, so many times already. It had never, once before, occurred to her that in the midst of those still, non-hectic days, that she'd find herself flying past the other side of them.

Shuuya's voice resonated out into the sky, and she once again wished she could be stronger for them, Tsubomi, Kousuke, Shuuya, all of them, just one more time.

The flashing images of their red eyes scattered around her, like the ends of her scarf. The rails where she had let go were getting farther and farther from her now, and she could basically feel the Haze's presence rushing to swallow her.

She wished she could return to those careless, clumsy summer days.

She wished the loneliness of this final, heroic act wasn't flooding through her already.

She dreaded what would happen to Tsubomi and Kousuke when they learned she had died, what would happen to Haruka and Takane when they realized their friend was gone, what would happen to Shintaro when she couldn't be there to smile and fold paper cranes next to him in the classroom anymore, what would happen to her father as his life was eaten away by the snake, what would happen to Shuuya, now that he was left to deal with him and her burden all alone...

...and what would happen to her when she was abandoned to the Kagerou Daze, to the world she'd heard of only in stories that were read to her in past days she could no longer run back to.

Disappearing away into the end credits, she closed her eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> I am so, so sorry Ayano :')


End file.
